Dear Friend,
It’s time for the 10th issue of my weekly newsletter. So far, this project has shown that the amount of time I have invested in it has definitely been worth it. Not only I received so much critical feedback showing me that spreading these words creates value for the readers, but also this experience of reflecting intensively on a weekly basis seems to be massively valuable for me in the long run. What do you think about this? Do you reflect actively and regularly your day(s)? Do you think you can benefit from regular reflection? It would be great if you let me know!
Do not hesitate when you are afraid to do something
I suppose you all will most likely have experienced the following situation at least once: You would like to do something (e. g. approach a stranger person), but you didn’t do it because you were too afraid of the situation or the situation would have caused too much inconvenience to you. This happens when you are required to leave your comfort zone and enter a mode in which you can grow substantially, and are not willing to get out of the cozy comfort zone.
I am quite sure this frequently occurs in all of us. In such situations our head tries various reasons why we should not do what we actually would like to do. For instance, we create worst-case scenarios in our mind which are totally unlikely. Just take for example when we want to approach a stranger person who we admire or think s/he is pretty. Most often we think the person does not have the time to talk with us, have nothing to talk about or that we will be rejected.
Have you ever left your comfort zone and have you ever regretted leaving it? In my case, it has always been worthwhile. If you approach that guy/girl who looks nice, if you talk to that person you randomly saw on the street and have always wanted to ask a question, if you just do it instead of hesitating and not doing it in the end… This feeling of getting out of your self-imposed boundaries, conquer your anxiety and will against inconvenience – it has always been worth the struggle. I want to give you two advices that helped me to get easier and more often out of my comfort zone and getting to a zone of strong personal growth. First of all, I recommend taking action immediately and, secondly, I want you to implement a habit in your daily life.
If you recognize a situation I previously described, one very simple trick to overcome anxiety and make it out of the comfort zone is to not hesitate any second and act as fast as possible. This will help you that you mind does not even has the chance to create worst-case scenarios and prevent a rational rejection of inconvenience. It is very simple: E.g. you see that person you admire (idol, role model, a person you are a fan of…) and have always thought about talking to him/her. You are afraid to do it now, though. Exactly in this situation you should not wait any second. Instead you should approach this person right after you saw him/her. You do not need to think about what you say. The first time this might feel very inconvenient. However, if you do this a several times, you can increase your ability to talk spontaneously greatly. It sounds quite simple, but the execution is what it takes to change your life. Further, I suggest any person who asks me whether I have any advice for them that they should implement “getting out of the comfort zone” as a routine. In my daily life I have implemented a so-called “Overcome-Anxiety-Loop”: Whenever I have a feeling of anxiety or inconvenience in regard to a particular situation, I say to myself that I have to do it. This means that whenever I experience a situation which I am afraid of or which requires me to get out of my familiar and convenient zone, I will just do it and do not even think about potential consequences. In the beginning, this cost me a lot to overcome. Since I started doing this, though, I have greatly improved my willpower, ability to get out of the comfort zone and feel much more fulfilled as I am not a slave of my inconvenience or habits anymore. As a result, you embrace the inconvenience and get excited to challenge yourself. Instead of preventing such situations you even force them.
Today at the gym I experienced such a typical situation: There was this guy I have already seen many times in the gym and who attracts my attention because he does so many unconventional exercises. This day worked out few meters away from me and seemed to have a longer break. Then suddenly I thought about talking to him, asking why he is training so unconventional and what he is doing that he achieves such good results with it. At the same time this feeling of inconvenience came up as I thought about approaching him. Normally, I would have hesitated or would not even have considered to go and talk to him, but since I had this habit and the Overcome-Anxiety-Loop I said to myself that I need to approach this guy even though I was a completely unknown person to him (and vice versa). In the end I talked to him and we had a really great talk in which I could learn a lot. Moreover, he seems to be a really nice person and someone I can party with. Therefore, we even exchanged numbers so that we can stay in contact (I will not have the time to undertake something with him before I will fly to the US for my exchange semester).
Such situations have occurred many times in the last few months and showed me that overcoming this anxiety and rejection of inconvenience is a great deal. If you have any questions, what other techniques helped me to overcome this or other daily challenges, just write me a message!
This were my weekly learnings. I hope you could take away something from it. Never hesitate to write me if you have any recommendations, suggestions or feedback since I really appreciate it.
All the best to you and yours,
David
